In September, I attended a 2.5-week Akashic Records retreat in Bali, drawn by the opportunity to deepen my spiritual practice and connect with others on a similar path. The journey was transformative in many ways, especially in the teachings around the Akashic Records. I learned to explore my inner self, access insights, and embrace the profound wisdom stored in these spiritual archives.

However, the experience turned out to be more complex than I had anticipated.

Alongside the Akashic Records teachings, there were intensive lessons on Tibetan Buddhism. While I respect Buddhism and its ancient roots, I struggled to resonate with the rituals and beliefs being imparted. It wasn’t simply a matter of not aligning with the practices themselves – it was the overall dynamic that felt disempowering, particularly because the teacher, a male guru, maintained an authoritative, often dismissive, stance. Every time I ventured to share my perspective or ask questions, he would brush me off, leaving me feeling unseen and unheard.

As a strong, independent woman, the expectation to defer unquestionably to a dominant male figure became increasingly uncomfortable. His instructions were often delivered as commands – sit here, stand there, dance now, jump in the pool. I soon felt trapped in a rigid structure where my autonomy was being undermined. One thing that particularly disturbed me was when he casually tickled participants, including myself, as if it were merely a playful gesture. But to me, this was an invasion of personal space, a violation of boundaries that left me feeling unsettled and uneasy.

Reflecting on this experience, I realized I was grappling not only with one individual’s behaviour but also with the broader issue of the “male guru” phenomenon. The spiritual world, traditionally dominated by male figures, has long exalted the notion of the enlightened male teacher as an all-knowing, infallible guide. While many male spiritual leaders offer authentic, compassionate guidance, this hierarchical model can also foster dynamics that are uncomfortable or even toxic. Women, especially those who value their autonomy, may feel marginalized or pressured to surrender their self-trust and discernment in favour of blind obedience.

For women navigating spiritual journeys, it’s crucial to establish personal boundaries and remain grounded in one’s values and intuition. In my case, I learned to listen to my discomfort instead of brushing it aside. I sought out fellow participants to share my feelings, which created a network of mutual support and validation. Going forward, I’m committed to choosing spiritual spaces that foster equality and mutual respect, where I can engage in dialogue rather than submit to a one-sided dynamic.

Here are a few ways I believe women can protect themselves in similar situations:

1. Trust Your Intuition
   If something doesn’t feel right, listen to that voice. Spiritual growth should never come at the cost of your comfort or sense of self-respect.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
   Assert your personal boundaries from the start. Whether it’s physical space, conversation topics, or participation in certain rituals, knowing and stating your limits can prevent uncomfortable encounters.
3. Seek Community
   Find like-minded individuals who support your journey. Talking to others can validate your experiences and help you process any discomfort.
4. Choose Your Teachers Wisely
   Look for leaders who value dialogue and respect for their students’ autonomy. Spirituality should be about mutual growth, not unquestioning reverence.

My Bali retreat taught me that not every teacher or teaching is right for everyone, and that’s okay. Spiritual paths are personal, and as women, we have the right to pursue them with dignity, self-respect, and autonomy intact.

If there is one thing I am grateful for, it is that I did leave the experience with a profound appreciation for the Akashic Records. This practice offers a wellspring of wisdom, empowering individuals to access their soul’s journey, uncover deep insights, and find healing. Now, as a certified practitioner, I’m honoured to guide others in accessing this transformative source of knowledge. It’s a powerful, empowering path that I’m grateful to share with others who seek clarity and growth on their own journeys.