Chapter 7 – The Crash (Excerpt 4)

For the next few weeks I will be publishing excerpts from my forthcoming memoir Always With You.
Each excerpt will also have an insight into and the significance of the excerpt. (See below)

A paragraph from Chapter 7

My eyelids popped open and for a moment I lay still in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling. Without looking at the clock beside me, I knew the time. It was 3am. I sighed. It was always 3am. Now I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep for another couple of hours, which meant I would be shattered for work. I rolled over and pulled my knees to my chest, curling up into a tight ball. My mind whirred and with every minute that passed, I felt myself getting more and more tense. I couldn’t stop thinking about work at the recruitment agency I was at, about the deadlines I was missing, the targets I hadn’t reached. Be quiet, I told my brain, just stop thinking about it and go to sleep. I screwed my eyes tight shut. Please go to sleep… please….


Significance of this excerpt:

Clinical depression was something I suffered from in my early 20s. I was hospitalised for a while too – as it had become debilitating – and I had become a danger to myself with suicidal ideations filling much of my thoughts. One of the most significant signs of my depression – was waking up at 3am in the morning. Every bloody morning! Today, I have coping skills that I turn to to keep me mentally well – but it is always an ongoing battle. Mental health is something we need to keep talking about. Too often people suffer in silence – until they reach breaking point – and sometimes breaking point is just too late……

I have been fortunate to have worked with the charity MIND in various capacities over the years. I urge anyone reading this, who feels they need to, to reach out to them. They have some wonderful resources and the MIND team are so keen to help people.
Mind – The mental health charity provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem., tel: 0300 123 3393, text: 86463.


Look out for Excerpt 5 coming soon